I made a to-do list this morning of things that MUST get done tomorrow; it includes going to the grocery and the cleaners and the UPS store, paying the bills, and writing three thank-you notes. Oh and I also have to work. And I may have promised to take my kids to the pool in the afternoon as well.

I have no idea how I'm going to get everything done.

Fortunately, if I were so inclined, I could outsource some of my list; according to an article at CNN.com, more and more Americans are doing just that, hiring virtual personal assistants to book doctor appointments, pay bills, and shop for gifts for them. The price is apparently less than you might expect, particularly when weighed against what you would be earning if you were actually WORKING instead of waiting in line at the toy store to pay for that birthday present or crafting that thank you to Aunt Mary for sending dinner over when you were sick.

I like the idea of outsourcing, and I've done some myself -- I have automated bill pay for regular bills, and the dry cleaners picks up and drops off our laundry each week. I can think of a few more things I would like to turn over to someone else -- the grocery shopping, for example, and the cooking, at least a couple of nights a week. But I wonder about things like gift giving and thank you note writing -- don't we lose something if we hire that out? And what does that teach our kids about being gracious and polite?

For most parents, outsourcing errands is less about being able to work more and more about having that time with the family. Have you outsourced anything recently? What do you wish you could turn over to someone else? And what would you do with the time that not dealing with the UPS store or the grocery would free up?

Time Magazine recently interviewed an editor-at-large from popular magazine Psychology Today. The topic? Children, and whether or not we're turning our kids into wimps. Hara Estroff Marano, the interviewee, had much to say on the subject of children, and how we raise them. Marano, who is also a grandmother and author of a new book titled A Nation of Wimps: The High Cost of Invasive Parenting, says we are turning our kids into wimps. She says we need to let our kids have bad experiences as it's the only way they learn.

Marano pointed out her research on the college campus, noting that her colleagues commented that many of the students they were treating lacked coping skills. Says Marano, "...they have no idea how to manage the vicissitudes of life." Why has this happened? Well, according to Marano we're worried about our kids being successful. We push them too hard to achieve, and we worry more about branding than experience, focusing on sending them to the best schools, etc., when perhaps the brand name of Harvard or Yale is not what they need. Access to information through the Internet makes everything fleeting and transitional and ultimately obsolete before we can even understand it fully.

Marano also argues, along with much of our nation, that our children are being over-medicated and that play time is not valued as it should be. And, shocker, she feels we're too involved in every aspect of our children's lives. So how to deal? Well, according to Marano, we need to step back, let kids prove their competence, let them play, and make sure we eat together five times a week. I don't know if doing these things will save our kids from being wimps, or if they're wimps in the first place, but she does provide an interesting perspective.

Your thoughts? Do you think we overprotect our children and undervalue their ability? Or is that what it takes to get through this crazy modern world?

Pic by summitcheese.

What are the two chores in a household that are never really finished? Dishes and laundry. Throw in a couple of kids and suddenly a dishwasher becomes very, very important. (Or is it just me?) Families in the Washington counties of Whatcom and Spokane might find themselves having to choose a new brand of dishwasher detergent next week, however. The state is banning any brand that contains more than 0.5 percent phosphorus.

Phosphates are naturally occurring, but are also used in many kinds of detergents. They're linked to algae blooms, which upset the delicate balance of a healthy waterway. By banning these kinds of consumer products, Washington state officials hope to protect their state's environment. By 2010, the ban will include the whole state, though for now it only affects these two counties.

Fortunately for consumers, there are several brands out there that are phosphate-free and also do a good job cleaning dishes. Consumer Reports recently recommended the following brands: Ecover (tablet and powder), Citra-Dish, 365 Everyday Value, and Seventh Generation, and as this issue gains awareness, I'm sure many more brands will be hitting the shelves.

When I completed the survey I wrote about last week on the subject of "Sex and the American Dad," there was one question I felt I was not qualified to answer. The question asked whether my wife found me more, less or equally attractive compared to before we had kids. Actually, I can't imagine that anyone would find me attractive, let alone a hot babe like my wife, so I just assumed she married me for my Land Rovers. When I asked her, however, she paused and then provided a measured, calculated answer: "More, because you are such a good father." Thanks, dear, you've got my vote.

So I asked a few other moms I know. One mom told me, simply, "I'm too tired to think about that." I can understand that, and suspect a lot of others can too. Having kids doesn't leave a lot of time for adult activities.

Another mom wrote back to say "I find my husband more attractive when he helps with our son, less attractive when he hides out with the computer or TV (you know, general avoidance behavior) while the rest of the house is unraveling." Raising kids is a lot of work and it's definitely easier when you've got two people helping out -- which leaves more time and energy for aesthetic considerations.

Admit it: at some point in your life as a parent, you have added up all the things you do for the children and the house and the family. If you are lucky, this accounting has not been part of a larger wrangle about what's fair in your house, but it is more likely that this equity math has come up in a less-than-pleasant discussion with your spouse or partner, one in which you accuse each other of not doing enough, and then list all the things that you do to keep everything rolling.

We all do it; it's inevitable. Or is it?

This weekend's New York Times magazine features an article by Lisa Belkin about couples who have consciously chosen equal parenting -- the completely fair distribution of labor within the home. They divide work and laundry and kid duties 50/50, even if this means working less and scheduling more. And for these parents, equal is successful. But is it realistic?

Statistically, no; in couples where both the husband and wife work full-time, surveys show that the wife does 28 hours of housework and the husband, 16. That's not even close to a 50/50 split. One sociologist found that in families where the wife worked full-time and the husband stayed home, the wife still did the majority of the housework.

Lately it seems a lot of pressure has been placed on getting presents for each other for pretty much every holiday that comes around in a year. I don't know if it's the economy, the effect of its sluggishness on me, or some sort of pregnancy hormone telling me it's materialistic for consumers to be expected to shell out a lot of cash for Mother's Day and Father's Day--right up there with Christmas!

This year I've been thinking about free gifts that aren't cheap cop outs for Father's Day. What could I get my husband, who is an unbelievably amazing father to our son and, somehow even, to our unborn daughter, that won't break the bank or make him feel like he's getting the shaft--after all, it seems Mother's Day dwarfs Father's Day on most counts (which is unfair).

So what can we do for dear old dad? One thing I've always found fun and sweet is to go through all the old photographs and put together a collection of dad, mom and the kids through the years. I try to turn up long lost friends as well. That's totally free, and as much fun to create as it is for dad to peruse. Another idea? Head to the park for a picnic. Ok, yes, you may wish to go to the grocery to pick up a few of dad's favorite treats, but you were going to eat anyway, right? Take everyone to a nice shady spot, lay everything out and promise to provide clean up duty so dad can just relax and enjoy.

I can't go into Target without spending $100, which is why I never, ever go to Target. But if I could get some lessons from coupon queen Chrissy Thompson, things might be different. She once bought $380 worth of merchandise at Target for -- are you ready for this? -- two cents.

Thompson has coupon clipping down to a science and has whittled her $200-$250 per week grocery bill down to as little as $10. She combines weekly sales fliers, coupons, in-store discounts, and customer rewards to buy only the things her family needs. When she does come home with something extra that she got for free, she donates it.

It really all sounds thrilling. Imagine practically eliminating groceries from your household budget. This is where Thompson loses me, though: Each shopping trip takes up to four hours, with stops at seven different stores. My kids get cranky after three stops and I get cranky after two. Seven stops would push me to the brink of sanity, then give me a good, hard shove over the edge.

Still... a trip to Target for only two cents? It's tempting.

Got kids? If you do, chances are you have clutter too. Many parents, myself included, follow the old 'forest for the trees' principle--if you concentrate on the kids' stuff, you can't see what a mess your whole house actually is! Well, now perhaps it needn't be that way. An interesting article from the San Mateo Daily Journal helps put matters into perspective.

Kids, they say, seem to have the most stuff. Between what they bring home with them from school or the yard or wherever else, along with all the gear necessary to raise a wee one (not to mention the things the child simply HAS to have because everyone else in his or her class has one), it's more stuff than a parent can ever imagine having had as a child.

Conversely, the kids usually get the smallest rooms in the house, save the bathroom. All that stuff in such a small place is going to make clutter, or spill out everywhere else and clutter that space too. If you're like me and live in a small space to begin with, the tips in the article, such as using clear (labeled!) plastic bins and making sure you get furniture that serves more than one purpose (see: my pack and play is a bed and a place to play) might be just what you're looking for--amid all the clutter, that is!

Pic of what would look like my fridge if it were covered with baby stuff instead by Wm Jas.